


Depressed and Neglected

by ImDepressedAndSoIsMyWork



Category: Attack on Titan
Genre: Depressed Eren Yeager, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Hange Zoë Being Hange Zoë, Hurt/Comfort, Levi Has Feelings (Shingeki no Kyojin), My First Fanfic, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:29:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImDepressedAndSoIsMyWork/pseuds/ImDepressedAndSoIsMyWork
Summary: Eren is depressed but won’t tell anyone. People (I’m looking at you Jean) are mean to Eren, unknowingly making his depression worse to the point were he is self harming. Will they be able to catch this mental illness before it’s too late?
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Comments: 9
Kudos: 66





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please, criticism is allowed. This is my fist fanfic and I need to know how I’m doing and what I can improve on. Thank you!

Eren sat on his small bed in the basement, thinking about, well, everything. Jean has been especially mean that day, telling him that he was worthless and that he couldn’t even controls his titan powers properly. Eren may try to hide it with snotty remarks and come backs, but truthfully, those words had really hurt him. 

Ever sense his mom has died a while back, all he could think about was how he couldn’t help her. About how he was useless. About how he was just a waste of space. And all of those remarks from Jean were not helping. Mikasa would sometimes jump in and stop Jean, but she also sometimes didn’t.

“Who cares?” Eren thought to himself. “I deserve to feel this way. Why am I even here? I can’t do anything right. I’m a waste of space, food, time, AIR even. Maybe if I ate less or gave my share to some of the others I would actually be worth something and they wouldn’t all think I was useless.”

XXXXX THE NEXT DAY XXXXX

EREN  
Eren sat down next to Armin and Mikasa with his plate of food, starring down at it, deep in thought. 

“Eren.” Said Mikasa. “Shouldn’t you eat something? Are you sick?”

She put the back of her hand on his forehead, feeling him for a temperature that he didn’t have.

Armin said nothing, just looking at Eren a little worried.

“No Mikasa.” Eren said quietly, which was unlike him. “I’m fine, just not very hungry.”

“If your not going to eat, can I have your food?!” Sasha, who was sitting across from them practically yelled.

Eren just nodded his head and silently slid his plate across the table to her, watching her with wide eyes as she practically inhaled the food.

“Wow! Thanks Eren!” She said when she was finished. “I hope that you were telling the truth when you said you weren’t hungry...”

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” Eren said as his stomach in conveniently chose that moment to give a large growl.

A blush dusted his cheeks as he looked away. 

“Useless.” He thought. “Absolutely worthless.”


	2. Overworked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren feels like he has to do more for the Survey Corps if he is going to be accepted. In the process, he begins to overwork himself terribly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry that it took some time to update. I don’t really know how many chapters there is going to be in this fanfic, but I’m thinking maybe about 6.

After breakfast and training, Eren didn’t really have much to do. Hange was still looking over data from her last experiment on Eren, and Armin was probably reading. He couldn’t find Mikasa anywhere and he would rather get eaten by a titan than to talk to Horse-Face.

As he was walking down the hall, he realized how dirty it was. Levi would usually make sure that everything was spotless but lately, he had been caught up in his newfound relationship with Hange. It was no surprise to Eren that those two had gotten together. They were actually pretty close and Eren had noticed that Levi had seemed more at ease with Hange around. It was only a matter of time before those two got together.

Eren decided to make himself useful by cleaning up the filthy halls. He went to the cleaning closet, got some supply's, and went to work. 

He mopped the floor, cleaned the windows, got rid of the cobwebs, dusted the nooks and crannies, mopped again because he felt like he had not done a good enough job the first time, and then he was done. Except...he wasn’t. He still felt like he hadn’t done enough. He went into the closest empty room and began to clean that. When he was finished with that room, he went on to another. 

“You finally found something you might be good for” Eren said to himself. “If you clean more, maybe you won’t be considered a useless waste of space anymore!”

He giggled half heartedly at the thought. Him? Not useless? Please. 

XxxxxxxxPOV switchxxxxxxxxX  
_Levi_

Levi was looking everywhere for the brat, but couldn’t seem to find him. It was almost time for dinner and they needed everyone there for a big announcement. 

As he was walking down one of the hallways, he noticed that it was spotless. Sparkling clean, almost as if he, Levi the cleanest man, had done it himself. He looked into one of the rooms noticing that it was also spotless. He counted that 7 of the rooms in that hall were completely free of dust and grime. He heard some small grunts coming from one of the other rooms and he slowly opened the door. 

What he saw completely shocked him. The brat was standing on a step stool, cleaning the top corners of the room, and doing a gosh-darn good job of it. 

Levi made a sound at the back of his through the let the brat know he was standing there.

“Oi. Brat.” He said, not noticing Eren flinch at the name. “What are you doing?”

“I-I...Good afternoon corporal Levi...” Eren said quickly, avoiding the smaller mans gaze as he got off of the stool. “I just noticed how dirty the halls and rooms were and I decided to make myself useful...” 

“Tsk.” Levi began to examine Erens work, noticing how the boy was standing in a corner, head low as if he was on trial.

“Could be better.” Levi said, though he was truly impressed. “Next time, try harder.”

He didn’t see the young titan shifter shaking, nor the single large tear that ran down his face as the Humanity’s Strongest left the room.


	3. Still Hurting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is still not eating, and is doing more work than he should be doing due to an announcement made at dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****WARNING!!!!!*****  
> There will be SELF HARM and CUTTING and BLOOD in this chapter. If you might be triggered or you are not okay with reading something like that, I would advise you to skip this chapter! If not, read on! I hope you enjoy! I’m sorry Eren   
> T~T

Eren went down to dinner, ocean eyes sparkling with tears. What was he expecting? For Levi to be PROUD of him? For Levi to THANK him? Why should he? You have never done anything useful in your life! Everything that you thought you were good at was a LIE! You have never been good at anything! Your a waste! Your se greedy and needy! Eating food that other people like Sasha could be using? Sleeping in a cot like people on the streets could only dream of? You don’t deserve any of this Eren! 

Eren continued to beat himself up mentally, but he knew he deserved to hurt even more. He thought back to one time he had seen a young girl on the streets cutting her wrists. Maybe, just maybe, that would be enough punishment for him. He would try after dinner. 

CxxxxxxxxSMOL TIME SKIIIIPxxxxxxxC

Eren slid his dinner over to Sasha, just like he had done at breakfast and lunch. This time, she seemed pretty hesitant to take it, but Eren insisted.

“Eren, you haven’t eaten anything today!” She exclaimed. “Please! Eat something! I can’t take that, even though it looks so...so...so good!!”

“No Sasha, you should eat it. You worked much harder than me today.” He said with a small smile, with a hint of sadness that no one had noticed. 

Finally, after about 4 minutes of arguing, Sasha took the food, eating slowly. 

Suddenly, a large hand slapped Eren on the back.

“Finally realize how FAT you are Yeager? Huh? Realize that soon, you would be killing your horse if you stayed on it for more than two minutes?!” 

“Back of Jean.” Mikasa said sternly. “Leave Eren alone. What did he ever do to you?” 

Jean let out a rude laugh. “Weeeeelllll, first He was born...”

“Jean!” Mikasa yelled, standing up. Armin sat there lookin at Eren, trying to figure out a way to calm Mikasa down. Connie, who was sitting next to Sasha, knitted his eyebrows together in a worried expression. Sasha was in her own world, finally digging into the food and stuffing her face with it.

At that moment, when mikasa was about to start pummeling Jean, Levi and Erwin went to the front of the room, interrupting the fight.

“We have an announcement to make.” Said Erwin, nudging Levi with his elbow.

“Tch. Yeah, we’re going to be giving out more chores to some of the people, randomly picked. Don’t start running and crying to us if you find out you have stable duty for a month. I sure as he heck don’t care. You should all be taking more responsibility around here housework-wise. Now, come up if I call your name.

*******time skip because I’m tired and lazy****

“Eren Yeager” Levi called. “You are going to be Cleaning the gear, doing all of the dishes, and making food. I don’t care if you can’t cook, you had better learn brat. And no putting anything inedible in the food. Got it?”

“Yes sir.” Eren said, and went to work cleaning up the tables to do the dishes. He noticed that Levi was a little taken aback at how well and fast he had cooperated, but he didn’t really care about the extra work. It gave him a little more reason to be alive. He wasn’t completely useless now! 

CxxxxxxxxxANOTHER TIME SKIP sorry peeps!xxxx

It had taken Eren about an hour to do the dishes and he was exhausted. He went to his cot, when he suddenly remembered something he had told himself earlier. He had to try cutting his wrists. If it helped, well, he would be even LESS useless!

He remembered a small knife he had under his mattress in case of emergency’s, and he quickly got it out. 

He sat down and breathed in deeply. Ohhhhh I had BETTER not turn into a titan he said to himself as he made the first cut. It was deep. It was bloody. It was a rip in his skin. And he LOVED it. It was painful, but it felt so good, mentally that is. It felt like he was finally getting the punishment he deserved. He lost track of time, making cut, after cut, after cut. Not caring how much blood he lost. Not caring about the sounds of pain he was making. Not caring when he heard the sound of a door opening. He did care though when he heard a voice.

“what are you doing Eren!?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha! I’m evil! Sorry! Cliffhanger. Can you guess who might have caught Eren?


	4. Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets found out...but does he get help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so soooo sorry that it took so long for me to update! I’ve been watching way to many anime’s at the same time and I have been trying to catch up on all of them lol. Hope you like this chapter! Criticism is welcome.

“Wh-What are you doing Eren!?!” Hanji screeched. “Are you trying to turn into a titan?!”

She ran up to him and pulled the knife from his hand. She stared down at the cuts, Eren only then realizing how many he had made, and how deep. There was one that was even 1 1/2 of an inch deep on his shoulder. How did e manage that?

He began to sob into Hanji’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry!” He cried, “I’m so sorry! I’m useless, i know! Please, let me keep going! I DESERVE this punishment! Can’t you see that?!”

He was reaching for the knife, but Hanji kept it just out of his reach.

“You can’t do this to yourself Eren!! Why would you do this without a cause!? At least when you bite yourself, it means your turning into a titan to help others! There is no point to this!”

She was yelling now and Eren was afraid that she was going to wake up the entire castle. And in a way, she did.

“WHATS ALL THIS NOISE YOUR MAKING BRAT?! SHUT UP!”

It was corporal Levi. And he sounded mad. 

As he came down the steps, he stopped, seeing Hanji standing net to Eren.

“What did you do this time four-eyes?” He asked her, with a little twinkle in his eye.

Eren then broke down, lowering the small, thin blanket that he used to hide the wounds on his arm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was short, and a cliffhanger I’m tired sorry.


End file.
